How I Always Kind of Knew
Looking back, I think a part of me has always known this is what I wanted to do, even before I understood what ‘therapy’ really was. In fact, when I was in grade school, my friends and I would set up little imaginary advice booths on the playground, and do our best to help people with their problems. We had no expertise, of course, but I loved the feeling of sitting with someone, listening, and trying to help them navigate what they’re going through.
As I got older, that early spark kept showing up in different ways. One of my favourite teachers in high school was the first person who really helped me see that becoming a therapist wasn’t just an idea, it was something I could actually pursue. And since then, I’ve been chasing this dream, even when the road wasn’t straightforward, like when I faced early rejections from competitive grad programs. Instead of being deterred by those rejections, I felt pushed to explore new paths, continue my studies while working, and stay connected to the reason I started: the belief that this work matters, and that being able to support people through their most human moments is the most meaningful job I could ever have.
How My Approach Has Evolved
When I started out as a therapist, I felt a lot of pressure to “do therapy right” - to exactly follow a specific model and get every step “perfect.” With time I’ve realized that being more flexible and collaborative works a lot better for me and my clients. I still draw on structured approaches, but now I’m more “go with the flow” and responsive to what each person actually needs. In practice, I use a lot of narrative therapy, creative and metaphor-based work, and I’m increasingly interested in doing training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), which fits well with the “parts” language I often already use with clients.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned so far in my career is that mistakes aren’t the end of the world. If something doesn’t land, we can acknowledge it, repair, and try another path together. That gentleness, and acceptance of failure as part of the journey has made me a better therapist (especially for my perfectionist clients!!), and a lot kinder to myself too.
A Client Moment That Stays With Me
A client I think about often was a young person I worked with during my practicum. They had
a history of trauma, and they were navigating a relationship that didn’t feel safe, but it was hard for them to picture what life could look like if they were to leave and live more independently. We used drawing and colour as part of our sessions, not formal art therapy, but art in therapy, and it really helped us to explore their inner world.
In one of those creative sessions, something just clicked. Through a simple drawing exercise, they suddenly understood themselves and their situation in a completely different way. It was a small activity on the surface, but it created a huge shift. That moment has always stuck with me as such a good reminder that even tiny things like a metaphor, a scribble on a page, or a question someone doesn’t know to ask themselves, can be genuinely life-changing.
How This Work Has Changed Me
Therapy has changed how I see people. It’s easy, from the outside, to assume someone
“high-functioning” or "successful” has it all together. But, working with clients from many different
backgrounds, roles, and identities, has reminded me again and again that everyone struggles. That perspective has helped me to stay grounded in seeing the person beyond the challenges, and in noticing their strengths and potential, even when those are hard for them to see themselves.
In my practice, and in my daily life, I often use the metaphor of a roadblock: when you hit one, you’re not stuck forever. Just like a maps app, you can recalculate and find a way to go around it, over it, under it, or maybe just find another path entirely. I think that’s a really helpful reminder when we’re feeling stuck; it can be hard and frustrating, but generally it’s not a forever issue and we can find creative ways to overcome the stuckness.
If You’re Thinking About Therapy
I often describe therapy as a “good kind of hard”, like learning a skill or working out. It can feel uncomfortable and challenging, but it usually creates a lot of growth if you stick with it. In my opinion, the most important piece is the connection, comfort and fit you have with your therapist. It’s so important for you to feel like you can trust and talk to this person, and that they understand you and what you’re working towards. That fit is actually so important to me that in the first session I have with every client I ever work with, I tell them: if I’m not the right therapist for you, that’s okay, it won’t hurt my feelings if you want to work with someone else. In fact, I’m happy to help you find them, because I want you to find the best fit for you, and have that connection that really helps therapy “work”.
I also try to remind people that there’s no one way to “do therapy right;” you can try a session, see how it feels, pause, come back, or decide whatever timing works best for you. Therapy doesn’t have to be a lifelong commitment if that’s not what you need, or if that’s not what works for you. Many people come for a handful of sessions and already feel a meaningful difference in their life.
Being Part of the Layla Community
Working with Layla has been such a supportive part of my practice. I often recommend it both to
people looking for a therapist and to other therapists as a referral partner. I love the way that Layla acts as a thoughtful matching service: you fill out a form, but you also speak with a real person who gets a sense of your needs, preferences, and style to make sure you’re connected with a therapist who fits. And, as a therapist, it takes the pressure off of marketing myself, so I can focus on the work I care about most: sitting with people in their stories and helping them take small, realistic steps toward feeling better.
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