How I Always Kind of Knew
I’ve sort of always known I wanted to do this. In grade five, my friend and I held “love doctor” sessions on the playground. She was Dr. J; I called myself Dr. Love. We had no idea what we were talking about, but I loved sitting with people and talking about their relationships.
In high school, a wonderful teacher who ran the psychology and anthropology course helped me see that becoming a therapist was actually possible. Later, when I was initially rejected from competitive grad schools, it could have been a moment to give up. Instead, I thought, okay, what’s another path? I found alternative programs, studied while working, and kept going because I knew this work mattered deeply to me.
Opening My Own Practice (and Learning the Business Side)
In 2022, I started my private practice. I’d always said I never wanted to run a business, but with encouragement and support, I took the leap. The admin and financial side was intimidating at first, especially sorting out taxes and systems, but I asked for help instead of trying to figure everything out alone.
I hired an accountant, set up a system that made sense to me, and slowly realized that the business side was actually manageable for me. Once that was all figured out, I got to focus on what matters most to me: building longer-term relationships, slowing down in sessions, and really listening instead of rushing people through a “process”.
How My Approach Has Evolved
When I started, I felt a lot of pressure to “do therapy right” - to follow a specific model exactly and get every step perfect. With time I’ve become more flexible and collaborative, and I still draw on structured approaches, but now I’m more “go with the flow” and responsive to what each person actually needs.
I personally use narrative therapy, creative and metaphor-based work, and I’m increasingly interested in Internal Family Systems (IFS), which fits well with the “parts” language I already use with clients. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that mistakes aren’t the end of the world. If something doesn’t land, we can acknowledge it, repair, and try another path together. That gentleness has made me a better therapist, and kinder to myself too.
A Client Moment That Stays With Me
One client I often think about was a young person I worked with during my practicum. They had a history of trauma, were in an abusive relationship, and were struggling to imagine life on their own. We used drawing and colour as part of our sessions, not formal art therapy, but art in therapy. This helped us explore their inner world.
In one session, something clicked. Through a simple drawing exercise, they suddenly understood themselves and their situation in a new way. It was a small activity on the surface, but it created a huge shift. That moment stays with me as a reminder that even tiny things like a metaphor, a scribble on a page, a question, can be genuinely life-changing.
How This Work Has Changed Me
Therapy has changed how I see people. It’s easy, from the outside, to assume someone “high-functioning” or successful has it all together. But working with clients. from many different backgrounds, roles, and identities, has reminded me again and again that everyone struggles. That perspective has helped me humanize people more and look for the “spark” in them, even when they can’t see it themselves.
“In my practice, and my daily life, I often reference a roadblock metaphor: when you hit one, you’re not stuck forever. Maybe you can go around it, over it, under it, or find another path entirely.”
I use that with clients, and I try to apply it in my own life, too.
If You’re Thinking About Therapy
I often describe therapy as a “good kind of hard”, like learning a skill or working out. It can feel uncomfortable, but it usually comes with a lot of growth. You don’t have to be “ready forever.” You can try a session, see how it feels, pause, come back, or decide what timing works for you.
Therapy also doesn’t have to be a lifelong commitment if that’s not what you need, or if that’s not what works for you. Many people come for a handful of sessions and already feel a meaningful difference in their life.The most important piece, in my view, is the fit. I always tell clients in our first session: if I’m not the right therapist for you, that’s okay. I want you to find someone you feel comfortable with, because that connection is what really helps therapy “work”.
Being Part of the Layla Community
Working with Layla has been such a supportive part of my practice. I often recommend it both to people looking for a therapist and to other therapists. Layla acts as a thoughtful matching service: you fill out a form, but you also speak with a real person who gets a sense of your needs, preferences, and style.
As a therapist, it takes the pressure off marketing myself (which I don’t love) and allows me to focus on the work I care about, which is sitting with people in their stories and helping them take small, realistic steps toward feeling better.
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