Have you ever looked back on a decision and thought, “I acted too fast,” or “I waited too long”? Most of us have. From responding to a text to handling conflict in a relationship, we make decisions all day, often without realizing how we make them.
Everyone has a decision-making style, a natural way of approaching choices. Some people act quickly and trust their instincts, while others pause and gather more information. Each approach comes with its own strengths and challenges. Understanding your style can help you make choices that feel calmer, clearer, and more aligned with your values.
By noticing whether you tend to jump in or hold back, you can find a balance between thinking and acting that works best for you. Adjusting the way you approach decisions can ease stress, reduce overthinking, and build greater confidence in all areas of life, from friendships to love to personal growth.
Before You Read: We understand that the information and strategies we share may not feel helpful for everyone. If you are in need of additional support or resources, please reach out to a professional, or connect with our team at contact@layla.care.
In this blog, we’ll cover:
Everyone develops patterns around making decisions. Some people tend to act quickly and move forward with confidence. Others take more time, wanting to feel fully informed before choosing. These tendencies are natural and are shaped by both personality and life experience.
Our brains are adaptable, which means we can recognize these patterns and make adjustments when needed. Understanding how you decide can bring more awareness and ease to your choices in friendships, relationships, and everyday life.
Most of us fall into one of two groups:
Once you understand your own tendency, you can explore ways to approach choices that feel balanced and thoughtful for you.
When it comes to timing, most people tend to either decide quickly or take more time. Acting fast can keep things moving, while pausing allows for careful reflection. Both styles have value, and what matters most is understanding which one feels natural to you.
Try this short “yes or no” quiz to notice your pattern:
If you answered “yes” to less than five of the points, you may have a spontaneous style, making decisions quickly and confidently. This can make things efficient, though sometimes details can be overlooked.
If you answered “yes” to five or more points, you may have a deliberative style, preferring to think things through carefully. You likely have a higher threshold for information saturation, meaning you need more details before your mind feels ready to decide. This supports thoughtful choices but can sometimes delay action.
Both styles have strengths. The next sections will offer tools to help you understand your natural approach and make decisions in ways that feel clear and comfortable for you.
If you tend to make decisions quickly, the next section offers four approaches to help you pause and reflect before acting. These include broadening your perspective, connecting choices to your values, grounding decisions in reliable information, and taking time to thoughtfully review your options.
Quick decisions can feel right in the moment but may not always fit well over time. Taking a step back can help you see how your choice connects to the bigger picture of your life.
Try this:
Research suggests that physical height can influence how broadly we think. When you place yourself in a higher position, such as standing or sitting somewhere elevated, your mind naturally shifts toward a more global or “big picture” perspective. This can support a broader view of how your choices relate to different areas of your life and relationships.
When decisions are made quickly, it can be easy to overlook what feels most meaningful to you. Before deciding, take a moment to ask, “Which of my values does this choice relate to?”
For example, if a friend’s comment upsets you, you might notice an instinct to step back. Reflecting on whether expressing yourself or taking space better aligns with your values can help guide your response. Considering how each option connects with what is important to you can support decisions that feel consistent and grounded over time.
Strong emotions such as excitement or relief can sometimes make it harder to see potential challenges. Before deciding, take a moment to ask yourself:
Allowing even a few minutes for reflection can create space for a steadier, more considered decision.
Fast decisions can be shaped by overconfidence, the feeling that your intuition already tells you everything you need to know. Intuition can offer valuable insight, but when it stands alone, it may rely on assumptions rather than evidence. Blending intuitive understanding with reliable information creates a more complete decision-making process.
To integrate both:
When intuition and information work together, decisions often feel both confident and grounded.
If you find yourself hesitating or overthinking, you’re not alone. Taking too long to decide can sometimes come from wanting to avoid discomfort or uncertainty. Setting gentle structure can help you move forward with more ease.
Feeling indecisive is often connected to a perceived lack of urgency. Setting a clear timeframe encourages follow-through:
For example, if you’re deciding whether to join a new activity, sign up for a trial session ahead of time. Having such pre-commitments stops you from reversing your choices over time.
Having too many choices can use up mental energy and make important decisions feel harder.
To reduce decision fatigue, try these tips:
Layla tip: When you feel stuck, picture your younger self, maybe around age seven, making the decision. This can help you reconnect with your natural curiosity and openness.
Striving for the perfect answer can make it hard to move forward. Instead, focus on finding an option that feels clear and workable right now.
To put this into practice:
This approach keeps you moving forward with clarity and reduces the urge to overthink.
Understanding your decision-making style can help you navigate between acting too quickly and waiting too long.
If you tend to decide quickly, you can try to:
If you tend to decide slowly, you can try to:
Making decisions is part of everyday life. Each choice, whether minor or significant, offers a chance to understand yourself more deeply. Approaching decisions with awareness and kindness helps you build trust in both your thoughts and feelings. Over time, confidence grows not from getting every choice right but from learning to trust your own process.
If you require any immediate support, please reach out to a professional, or click here to explore our crisis and community resources. If you’d like to inquire about finding mental health support that’s right for you, a member of our team is happy to assist you. You can email us at contact@layla.care for any inquiries, or complete our intake form to reach out to a member of our care team.
