In today’s digital age, there is no shortage of social interfaces that make communication quick and accessible, whether in our personal or professional life - Facebook, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Be Real, Twitter, Threads, Zoom, Teams, Slack, Flock, and more. With such tools at our disposal, it might seem that we are perpetually connected to one another. But does constant connectivity alleviate loneliness, or is it actually exacerbating it?
While the health impacts of loneliness are well-documented, this post takes a unique angle by exploring loneliness within the digital realm. We aim to explore the escalating issues of loneliness in an era where connections are just a click away, diving into psychological impacts of digital barriers to connectivity, and addressing strategies to enhance meaningful connections.
Loneliness is an internal experience of feeling disconnected from important social relations. It is the perception that one is isolated and alone. Interestingly, loneliness is often discussed in the context of the senior population as social connection naturally tends to decrease as we age. However, a 2023 Statistics Canada survey indicates that young adults between 15-24 and adults from 25-54 are representative amongst the 12.9% of Canadians reporting loneliness often or always. Such results challenge the notion that loneliness is synonymous with physical isolation. Even in busy, vibrant cities where there is ample opportunity for connection, we are not protected against loneliness. Toronto’s 2023 Vital Signs Report showed that 925,000 Torontonions felt lonely on at least three or fours days in the past week.
Loneliness is More than an Individual Issue
Understanding loneliness requires us to see beyond the personal - it’s deeply embedded in our social structures. The same survey highlights that communities who face societal barriers are more prominently represented in the category of ‘feel lonely always or often’. This includes members of the LGBTQ2S+ community, Indigenous identifying individuals, and people living with a disability. Despite numerous services and organizations making strides to break down barriers that stand in the way of connection, it is clear that throughout Canada, we need to continuously commit to addressing loneliness across communities.
Our digital world promises that with technology, we will always feel connected. We can instantly be connected in seconds via Facetime with a loved one across the world, collaborate with teams all over the country, and share moments with friends through a quick text or social media share. So what keeps us from feeling connected?
Despite the illusion of connection, reliance on our devices actually diminishes the quality of our interactions. Genuine conversation is at the cornerstone of human connection, fostering feelings of closeness and empathy. When we add our cell phones as a substitution for meaningful connection or bring our cell phones into human interaction as an active third party, our ability to connect decreases. The typical, and far too common experience, of a friend or loved one “phubbing” - also known as phone snubbing, where one favours their phone during a conversation - illustrates the disconnect that occurs when phones become too active a participant during human interaction. While not always intentional, the act of checking a phone when engaged in a face-to-face conversation can lead to a sense of devaluation and loneliness, increasing psychological distress, and eroding relationship satisfaction.
Consider this common experience: You’re out for lunch with a long-missed friend. As you are diving into a heartfelt story, you notice them briefly glance at their phone. They pick it up, apologize for the interruption - a polite way of informing you they cannot pay attention to you at this moment - and they briefly pull away from your shared space. We have all been there. You know the feeling that follows. This interruption, however brief, shifts the atmosphere, and internally deflates the person on the receiving end. Although we often reply with a polite “no problem” while our friend checks their phone, this interaction leaves a residue of disconnection.
The irony is stark, but it is reality. Cell phone checking has slowly become the norm and in a world where communication technology has exploded, so have the barriers to genuine connection.
Sherri Turkle, the author of Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, advocates for a pro-conversation approach rather than being anti-technology.
Here are some of the ways that we can combat loneliness and create opportunities for connection:
While it is clear that cell phones and communication technology are not the sole cause of loneliness, the role of technology in the growing sense of loneliness and isolation cannot be ignored. The irony of our digitally connected world is that it has, in some ways, led to greater feelings of isolation. As we navigate the complex landscape, prioritizing genuine and meaningful connection is a vital step toward mitigating loneliness.
- Facing mental health challenges? Layla is here to help - Individuals, couples, and families use Layla for personalized, convenient therapy. Layla matches you to a suitable therapist and manage the therapy process in a warm, dependable manner, supporting you on your journey to better health. Learn more here.
- New to therapy? Here's your beginner guide - Starting therapy can evoke feelings of vulnerability, but knowing what to expect can help. The journey is individualized, with no exact right or wrong way. During the first session, typically administrative matters are discussed, goals are set, and you and your therapist will get to know each other. Fit between you and you therapist is very important for your outcomes, and it's okay to switch if the fit isn't right. Therapy is adjusted to your timeline and constraints, and can range from weekly to monthly sessions. Reflecting on what you wish to accomplish can guide the process
REFERENCES
Maftei, A., & Măirean, C. (2023). Put your phone down! Perceived phubbing, life satisfaction, and psychological distress: The mediating role of loneliness. BMC Psychology, 11(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-023-01359-0
Neuroscience News. (2023, July 2). The lonely brain: Unraveling the neuroscience and psychology of isolation. https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscience-psychology-loneliness-23566/
Statistics Canada. (2023, October 12). Loneliness by gender and other selected sociodemographic characteristics. Statistics Canada. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/t1/tbl1/en/tv.action?pid=4510004901
Suttie, J. (2015, December 7). How Smartphones Are Killing Conversation. Interview by S. Turkle. Greater Good Magazine. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_smartphones_are_killing_conversation
Tiwari, S. C. (2013). Loneliness: A disease?. Indian Journal of Psychiatry , 55(4). https://doi.org/10.4103/0019-5545.120536
Phubbing definition: Çikrikci Ö, Griffiths MD, Erzen E. Testing the Mediating Role of Phubbing in the Relationship between the big five personality traits and satisfaction with life. Int J Ment Health Addiction. 2022;20:44–56. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-019-00115-z
Toronto Foundation. (2024, April 15). Power of us. https://torontofoundation.ca/powerofus#thefindings
