Why do some people seem to move steadily toward their goals while others feel stuck? At first, it might seem like the answer is effort – that the key is working harder, staying disciplined, or being endlessly productive. But, life shows us it isn’t just about that. Many of us do our best to stay organized, motivated, and prepared, yet still find ourselves struggling.
What often makes the difference isn’t how much we know or how hard we push, it’s how we understand and work with our emotions, and how we connect with the emotions of those around us. This skill is called emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to notice what you’re feeling, understand where those feelings come from, and guide how you respond. It also means being able to tune into the emotions of others and respond with care. The encouraging part? EQ isn’t something you either have or don’t, it’s a skill that can grow stronger over time with practice and reflection.
We understand that the information and support we share here may not feel helpful for everyone. If you’re looking for additional support, please reach out to a professional, or connect with our team at contact@layla.care.
In this blog, we’ll explore what emotional intelligence really means, why it matters in daily life, and four supportive ways to strengthen it:
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the bridge between what you feel and what you do. It doesn’t mean ignoring emotions, but learning to recognize them and respond in ways that support your well-being and your relationships.
Scientists describe EQ as a dialogue between two parts of the brain:
When you strengthen EQ, you give your thinking brain a chance to step in and guide your choices, rather than being swept away by the first wave of emotion.
Researchers group emotional intelligence into four key skills, which fall under two main areas:
Let’s look at each one in more detail, with practices you can try in everyday life.
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your feelings as they happen. It’s noticing not only what you feel, but also why you feel it and how it influences your behaviour.
Think about the ripple effect of emotions. Just like a pebble dropped in water, an emotional reaction sends ripples through yourself and those around you. Imagine snapping at a sibling during a family gathering—not only does it affect them, but it also shifts the mood for everyone else at the table.
A gentle way to build awareness is to reflect:
The more you see how emotions ripple outward, the easier it is to choose the kind of ripples you want to create.
Once you’re aware of what you’re feeling, the next step is choosing how to respond. Self-management is the skill of pausing long enough to decide whether your first impulse will be helpful.
Picture this: during a group project, someone forgets their part of the work. Your first reaction might be irritation, but taking a breath before responding gives you a chance to decide whether expressing calm problem-solving or venting frustration will lead to a better outcome.
A practice that helps: write down what your emotions are telling you to do, then write down what your reasoning suggests. Seeing them side by side often reveals when emotions are influencing your judgment or, just as importantly, when logic is clouding an important feeling.
Social awareness is about empathy, being able to tune into the emotions of others, even when they don’t say how they feel. Small cues often speak volumes.
When you’re with a loved one, notice not only their words but also their body language. Are their shoulders slouched even while they say “I’m fine”? Is their smile genuine, reaching their eyes, or does it feel forced? Are they leaning in to engage, or pulling back slightly?
These little observations help you better understand the people you care about. Over time, social awareness strengthens connection by letting others feel seen and supported.
The final piece of EQ is relationship management – using your awareness of both yourself and others to build stronger, healthier bonds. This becomes especially important during difficult moments.
Think of a disagreement with a close friend. You might feel defensive or hurt, but with self-awareness and self-management, you’re more able to pause, listen openly, and share your perspective with calm and respect. This doesn’t make the conflict disappear, but it can protect the relationship and create space for understanding.
Some helpful practices include:
Handled with emotional intelligence, even tough conversations can deepen trust.
Emotional intelligence isn’t about being perfect or emotion-free—it’s about being present and intentional with what you feel. The four skills build on each other:
Together, these skills give you a roadmap for using emotions to support your goals and relationships.
Building emotional intelligence grows through practice, not perfection. Each time you pause before reacting, listen more closely to someone you care about, or reflect on your emotions, you strengthen this skill. Over time, these small shifts create steadier emotions, clearer choices, and deeper connections.
Here are a few gentle ways to begin:
If you require any immediate support, please reach out to a professional, or click here to explore our crisis and community resources. If you’d like to inquire about finding mental health support that’s right for you, a member of our team is happy to assist you. You can email us at contact@layla.care for any inquiries, or complete our intake form to reach out to a member of our care team.
