Making Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Answers

Sometimes you find yourself needing to decide before you feel fully certain. You may not have all the answers or be able to predict how things will unfold, and part of you might wish you could wait until everything feels clearer.

Maybe you are deciding whether to change jobs, end a relationship, move to a new city, or have a hard conversation with someone you care about. Your mind may circle the same questions, your body may feel tense, and your confidence might dip.

Making decisions without full clarity can feel uncomfortable. That discomfort is not only mental. It often shows up in your body as tension, restlessness, or doubt.

Rather than forcing certainty, it can help to steady the process underneath the decision. When you feel more grounded internally and externally, it may become easier to take the next step, even without having everything figured out.

In this blog, we’ll explore:

• Why uncertainty feels so uncomfortable for your brain
• How anxiety can quietly shape your decision making
• Gentle ways to strengthen your thinking and emotional steadiness
• Small environmental shifts that can support clarity

Before You Read: We understand that the information and strategies we share may not feel helpful for everyone. If you are in need of additional support or resources, please reach out to a professional, or connect with our team at contact@layla.care.

Why Uncertainty Makes Decision Making Hard

Our brains are wired to prefer predictability because familiar routines require less mental energy. For example, someone can brush your teeth or walk to class while thinking about something else because your brain has done it many times before.

But imagine brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand. Suddenly it requires effort and focus. That’s what uncertainty feels like to the brain. It demands more attention and it can even increase stress responses.

Research in psychology shows us that when people feel a lack of control, anxiety often rises. Anxiety can narrow thinking and increase emotional reactivity and make it harder to consider options carefully.

Over time, this can turn into a loop. 

You begin to feel out of control, anxiety rises, your thinking may feel foggy, and even small choices can seem heavier than they normally would. When decisions feel harder, it can reinforce the sense that you aren’t in control, which then increases anxiety again.

The key word to highlight here is "feel." 

A sense of control is subjective and you may not be able to control every outcome, but you can influence how steady and supported you feel while making a choice. Strengthening that internal steadiness often makes the next step feel more manageable

The Decision Iceberg Beneath Every Choice

A decision is rarely just one moment. It is more like the tip of an iceberg.

Below the surface are your:

• Emotions
• Past experiences, such as a recent argument or an earlier breakup
• Stress levels
• Assumptions about how things might turn out
• Core values, like honesty, stability, or independence

If you only focus on the visible choice, you may miss the deeper factors shaping it. Tending to what sits beneath the surface often makes the decision feel less overwhelming.

When decisions feel unclear, it can help to pause and gently explore what is uncertain, notice what’s happening in your body, and reconnect with what matters to you. The environment around you can also play a quiet role in how steady or pressured you feel.

Clarify What Is Uncertain in Your Decision

When life feels unstable, the mind can easily group everything together. Relationship stress blends with school pressure. Family concerns mix with financial worries.

Some people find it helpful to narrow their focus to one specific decision.

You might begin by reflecting on:

• What exactly am I deciding right now?
• What information do I have?
• What still feels unknown?

You can also gently assess three areas:

Information: How much relevant information do I have at this moment?

Factors: How many moving parts are involved?

Predictability: Based on what I know, how predictable do the outcomes seem?

The goal is not perfect certainty. It’s clarity about what’s known and what’s not.

With a clearer picture of the uncertainty, the next step is noticing how your thinking patterns may be shaping the decision.

Strengthen Your Thinking Patterns

When uncertainty is present, the brain often relies more heavily on heuristics. Heuristics are mental shortcuts that help us make decisions quickly. Sometimes these shortcuts can lead to cognitive biases, which are predictable patterns in thinking that shape how we interpret information. 

Below are two common patterns that are helpful to notice.

Pattern One: Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias is the tendency to focus on information that supports what you already believe while overlooking information that challenges it.

If you believe a friendship is beyond repair, you may unintentionally notice only the moments that confirm that belief.

An idea to explore:

Write down your preferred option or outcome. 

Then gently ask yourself:

If this were not the best choice for me, what might I be missing?

This reflection is not about doubting yourself. It is about widening your perspective so you can better understand what the outcome of a decision might look like.

Pattern Two: The Sunk Cost 

This pattern shows up when we stay committed to something because we have already invested time, energy, or emotion.

You might stay in a program you dislike because you have already completed two years. Or remain in a relationship simply because it has lasted a long time. 

A reflection that can sometimes help is:‍

• ‍If I were starting fresh today, would I choose this again?

This question brings your attention back to the present rather than the past.

Another reflection that can gently introduce future perspective is:

• ‍If I imagine myself five years from now, how might I feel about staying where I am today? 

Would I feel at peace with that choice, or wonder what might have happened if I tried something new?

This kind of reflection is not about predicting the future. It simply creates space to consider what might matter to you moving forward.

Returning to the Decision

When uncertainty is present, these thinking patterns are very human. The mind often tries to reduce discomfort by searching for certainty or holding tightly to what already feels familiar.

Noticing these patterns is not about criticizing your thinking. It is about creating a little more space around the decision. Reflection questions can help you step back, consider different possibilities, and reconnect with what matters to you right now.

You may still feel uncertain. But with a clearer view of your thinking, the decision can sometimes feel a little easier to approach.

Calm Your Body to Support Clearer Thinking

Decision making is not purely logical. Emotions and body states play a powerful role.

Even with clearer thinking, your body may still feel unsettled. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It simply means your nervous system is still catching up.

When you feel tense or overwhelmed, your thinking often narrows. Calming your body can gently widen your perspective.

There are a few different ways to support this shift. Some approaches work directly with physical tension. Others work indirectly, helping you sort through the thoughts and emotions that are fueling the tension. Both pathways can support clearer thinking.

Here are two options you might explore:

1. progressive muscle relaxation
2. journaling

Once your system feels a little steadier, it often becomes easier to ask a deeper question about direction.

1. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This evidence-based technique involves slowly tensing and releasing one muscle group at a time. For example, make a fist for a few seconds, then release it and notice the difference. Move gradually through your body.

Reducing physical tension can lower emotional intensity. It can also support clearer thinking.

2. Journaling Without Judgement

Writing can help create mental space.

You might try:

• Naming the main emotion you feel
• Noticing how it influences your thoughts
• Observing how it shapes your behaviour

There is no right or wrong emotion. Emotions carry information. The goal is understanding, not elimination.

If writing brings up overwhelming distress, it may help to pause and reach out for support.

Let Your Values Anchor You

Advice from others can be helpful. At the same time, too many opinions can blur your own voice.

Before seeking input, consider asking yourself:

• What mattered most to me at the beginning?
• What values feel most important in this decision?

For example, when deciding whether to move, your guiding value might be family connection, independence, stability, or growth.

Intuition is shaped by lived experience. It may draw on past situations you cannot immediately name, but that still informs your sense of what feels right or wrong.

When you are clearer about what matters, the next step is making sure your surroundings support that clarity. Rather than ignoring it or following it blindly, you can hold it alongside facts and reflection.

Adjust the Environment Around You

As you begin to feel a bit clearer about what matters, you might also gently consider the space around you. Decisions are rarely made in isolation. The people present, the timing, and the setting can strongly influence how steady or pressured you feel.

This is not about controlling every variable. It is simply about noticing where small adjustments might make the process feel more supportive.

We often underestimate how much our environment influences our clarity. The people around us, the time of day, and even the level of noise in the room can affect how steady or reactive we feel.

Situation Selection

When looking at situation selection, this might mean deciding not just what you are choosing, but where and when you will think about it.

You might want to ask yourself:

• Do I think more clearly alone, or with someone I trust nearby?
• Do I need quiet, or does a bit of background noise help me feel grounded?
• What time of day do I feel most steady and less reactive?

For example, you may notice that late-night conversations lead to sharper tones and more doubt, while a morning walk helps you think more calmly. Or you might realize that certain people increase pressure, even if they mean well.

There is no universal best setting. The goal is not perfection. It is to reduce unnecessary strain so your decision better reflects your values rather than your stress level.

Situation Modification

Situation modification becomes helpful when you cannot choose the whole setting. For example,  other people may need to be involved, or the timing may not be flexible. In those cases, you can look for one element you can adjust at a time. 

For example, some situation modifications could look like:

• If speaking in a group feels overwhelming, you might write your thoughts ahead of time or ask to share them early in the discussion.
• If family discussions escalate quickly, you might suggest shorter conversations, clearer boundaries, or a neutral setting like a walk outside.
• If you feel rushed, you might ask for a pause before giving an answer.

These adjustments may seem small, but they can meaningfully lower emotional intensity. So,  when the environment feels even slightly safer or calmer, it becomes easier to make a decision that reflects who you are and what matters most to you.

Layla’s Takeaway Tips

Clarity often unfolds gradually, and you don’t have to solve everything at once. 

If you’re facing a difficult decision right now, you might try the following techniques to help you make that decision more clearly:

• Narrow your focus to one specific choice instead of trying to solve everything at once
• Check whether confirmation bias or sunk cost thinking may be influencing you
• Calm your body before pushing for clarity
• Write down your core values before asking for advice
• Adjust your environment so it supports reflection rather than pressure

You don’t need perfect certainty to make a thoughtful decision, most people often make decisions with a good amount of uncertainty attached. Finding steadiness often comes first in the decision-making process, and clarity can often follow. Taking small, grounded steps can be enough to start, and then when the pressure starts to soften, it can become easier to notice what feels manageable and true for you. 

It’d often the quiet work beneath the surface that makes the visible decision feel steadier. 

A Message from Layla

If you require any immediate support, please reach out to a professional, or click here to explore our crisis and community resources. If you’d like to inquire about finding mental health support that’s right for you, a member of our team is happy to assist you. You can email us at contact@layla.care for any inquiries, or complete our intake form to reach out to a member of our care team.

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Sources: 

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Gallagher, Matthew W., Kasey H. Bentley, and David H. Barlow. “Perceived Control and Vulnerability to Anxiety Disorders: A Meta-analytic Review.” Cognitive Therapy and Research, vol. 38, 2014, pp. 571–584. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-014-9624-x.

Rauthmann, John F., and Ryne A. Sherman. “Situation Change: Stability and Change of Situation Variables between and within Persons.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 6, 2016, article 1938. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01938.

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Smith, Joanne R., et al. “Uncertainty and the Influence of Group Norms in the Attitude-Behaviour Relationship.” The British Journal of Social Psychology, vol. 46, no. 4, 2007, pp. 769–792. https://doi.org/10.1348/014466606X164439.

Wood, Wendy, et al. “Habits in Everyday Life: Thought, Emotion, and Action.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, vol. 83, no. 6, 2002, pp. 1281–1297.

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