Many people want to grow, learn new skills, or make meaningful changes in their lives and still, motivation can naturally rise and fall. Whether that’s stressful periods, setbacks, or competing responsibilities, a lot can happen to make it harder to stay engaged with goals that once felt important.
During these moments motivation is often influenced by psychological factors that shape how capable, supported, and connected we feel, rather than a lack of discipline or willpower.
One framework that helps explain the pattern of wanting change but not always feeling motivated to get there is Self-Determination Theory (SDT). SDT was developed by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in the 1970s and 1980s to explain human motivation, suggests that motivation is strongly influenced by three psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. These needs, according to the psychologists are essential for psychological growth and well-being.It
So if you’re looking for support to stay engaged with meaningful goals, even during difficult periods, it might be helpful to focus on how to support these psychological needs.
In this blog, we’ll learn about:
- why motivation can fade even when your goals still matter
- how psychological needs shape motivation and resilience
- why autonomy, competence, and connection influence engagement
- ways to reflect on these needs in everyday life
Before You Read: We understand that the information and strategies we share may not feel helpful for everyone. If you are in need of additional support or resources, please reach out to a professional, or connect with our team at contact@layla.care.
What Is Self-Determination Theory?
TheSelf-Determination Theory (SDT), The framework has been widely studied in research on motivation and psychological health.
According to SDT, people tend to function best when three basic psychological needs are supported:
Autonomy
Feeling that your actions reflect your own values and choices.
Competence
Feeling capable of learning, improving, and developing skills.
Relatedness
Feeling connected to people who support and care about you.
When these needs are supported, people often report stronger intrinsic motivation. This means engaging in activities because they feel meaningful or personally valuable.
When Psychological Needs Are Supported or Frustrated
Self-Determination Theory highlights an important distinction between need satisfaction - when core needs are being met - and need frustration - when core needs are not being met.
When the core needs of autonomy, competence, and relatedness are supported in daily life, people often feel energized and engaged. But, when these needs are repeatedly blocked, motivation may begin to fade.
For example:
- A student who feels pressured into a field of study may experience reduced autonomy.
- A person who receives constant criticism may begin to doubt their competence.
- Someone who feels isolated during a difficult period may experience reduced relatedness.
Research in Self-Determination Theory suggests that when psychological needs are consistently frustrated, people may experience lower well-being and greater difficulty sustaining motivation.
This pattern helps explain why motivation sometimes drops during stressful periods, even when goals still matter.
Why Motivation Breaks Down
Motivation often weakens when one or more psychological needs are unsupported. For example:
- a goal begins to feel imposed rather than personally meaningful
- a challenge feels overwhelming or beyond current skills
- a person feels isolated while working toward a goal
Recognizing these patterns can make it easier to approach motivation with greater understanding and flexibility.
At the same time, looking at motivation through the lens of psychological needs can help explain why these experiences occur and what might support motivation during difficult periods.
How Self-Determination Theory Supports Motivation and Resilience
Motivation and resilience are closely connected. When people feel autonomous, capable, and supported by others, it often becomes easier to continue pursuing meaningful goals during challenging periods.
Autonomy: When Goals Feel Personal
Autonomy involves feeling that your choices reflect your own values rather than external pressure.
When goals feel disconnected from personal meaning, motivation may start to feel forced or fragile. Reconnecting with what matters can restore a sense of direction and make effort feel more worthwhile.
For example, someone studying for an exam may feel more motivated when they connect the effort with their broader hopes for learning or future opportunities.
Competence: Confidence Through Progress
Competence involves feeling capable of learning and making progress.
Setbacks are a normal part of learning. Gradual improvement, practice, and supportive feedback can help rebuild confidence over time. When people can see that their efforts are leading somewhere, motivation often becomes easier to sustain.
The way goals are structured can also influence motivation, particularly when people feel that progress toward long-term goals is achievable. Seeing progress through smaller milestones or ongoing learning can reinforce the sense that growth is possible.
Relatedness: Connection Supports Well-Being
Relatedness involves feeling connected to others and experiencing a sense of understanding or belonging.
When people feel isolated or unsupported, it can become harder to stay engaged with meaningful goals. Supportive relationships can help people feel encouraged while navigating challenges.
Connection can take many forms. For some people it comes from close friends, family members, classmates, or shared activities. For others it may involve brief conversations, online communities, shared interests, or simply knowing that others understand similar experiences. Even brief moments of understanding can reduce feelings of isolation during difficult periods.
These three psychological needs influence how people experience motivation during difficult periods. Reflecting on how autonomy, competence, and relatedness appear in everyday life can offer insight into what supports motivation over time.
How to Use Self-Determination Theory in Daily Life
One way to reflect on motivation is to consider how these needs show up in daily routines and relationships.
When these needs are supported, people often find it easier to stay engaged with goals that matter to them.
How to Support Autonomy
Motivation often grows when goals feel personally meaningful.
Helpful questions might include:
- Why does this goal matter to me?
- What values does it connect to?
- How might it support the kind of life I want to build?
Sometimes adjusting how a goal is approached can restore a sense of ownership. For example, choosing when or how to work toward a goal can help it feel more self-directed.
How to Support Competence
Confidence often develops through manageable progress.
This might involve:
- breaking large challenges into more approachable steps
- practicing skills regularly
- seeking supportive feedback
Noticing progress over time can reinforce the sense that learning and improvement are possible. These experiences of progress can also strengthen persistence over time, which plays an important role in building self-discipline.
How to Support Relatedness
Connection with others can support motivation and emotional well-being.
This might include:
- sharing goals with trusted friends or family
- participating in group activities or communities
- learning alongside others with similar interests
Feeling understood and supported can make it easier to continue working toward meaningful goals, especially during difficult periods.
Continuing Forward During Difficult Times
Life often brings challenges that cannot be fully controlled or predicted. Health concerns, life transitions, caregiving responsibilities, or unexpected setbacks can affect how people pursue their goals.
During these periods, resilience may involve adjusting expectations while continuing to engage with meaningful parts of life.
If you’re feeling like you need some support with adjusting expectations with yourself and your goals during periods of change or uncertainty, you might find it helpful to:
- focus on activities that remain manageable
- reconnect with hobbies or interests that bring enjoyment
- approach goals with flexibility and self-compassion
Acknowledging difficult circumstances does not mean giving up on what matters. Often it involves adapting how goals are pursued while staying connected to meaningful parts of life. Maintaining even small experiences of autonomy, competence, or connection during difficult periods can help support motivation and resilience over time.
Layla's Takeaway Tips
Motivation is often described as a matter of discipline or willpower. Self-Determination Theory offers a broader perspective, highlighting three psychological needs that support motivation and well-being: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
During difficult periods, maintaining experiences of choice, progress, or connection can also be a helpful way to support your continued motivation. When these needs are supported, people often feel more engaged, capable, and connected to others.
Practical ideas to explore when you’re feeling a change in motivation, but you still have goals that you’d like to accomplish:
- Reconnect with autonomy: Reflect on why a goal matters to you personally and how it connects to your values.
- Support competence: Break challenges into manageable steps and notice progress over time.
- Strengthen relatedness: Share goals with supportive people or spend time in communities that encourage growth.
- Allow flexibility during difficult periods: Adjust expectations when life circumstances change while staying connected to what matters.
Motivation naturally rises and falls over time. Supporting autonomy, competence, and connection can help people reconnect with what matters and gradually rebuild motivation and resilience.
A Message from Layla
If you require any immediate support, please reach out to a professional, or click here to explore our crisis and community resources. If you’d like to inquire about finding mental health support that’s right for you, a member of our team is happy to assist you. You can email us at contact@layla.care for any inquiries, or complete our intake form to reach out to a member of our care team.
